Today's article is not going to be long as I usually make them. Today I want to guide you through 5 simple, practical steps on how you can use to overcome resentment in your relationships. As resentment is the most common problem that keeps us from fulfillment and takes away our joy. It often prevents us from growing and evolving not just in relationships, but in our careers or spiritual lives.
You might have at least one friend who is stuck in the same drama for ages! As compassionate as you're, even you want to say: "Just let it go...!"
But when it comes to our resentment and pain, it is never as easy as we want it to be.
What is the nature of resentment anyway? What kind of emotion is it? And where does it come from? These questions used to keep me awake in the middle of the night. Well, this is a pretty nerdy thing to be bothered about, but as my brilliant friend once said building a new social narrative is as hard as inventing the electricity! If for centuries we chose to look at resentment as a one-way street, where do we search for the map that brought us there in the first place?
First, resentment is about how we see the situation, not the actual situation. And there are many ways to see it. Imagine, but from 11 billion pieces of information our brain receives every second, we process only 40 bits! 40. (Knowing this I feel I am not allowed ever to say "I have no other choice but to be upset" anymore)
Consciously accessing more choices (in our own brain!) is just about expanding our database of information. When someone told you about this particular car, you start to see this car everywhere. Did it exist before? Sure. Did it exist in your world? No.
That's why these five steps are so important. When you allow more positive ideas and energy to be recorded in your unique worldview database, you open more opportunities for your happiness and success.
So here we go, let's make this one-way resentment road, the most vibrant and bright avenue in town.
Five steps to overcome resentment:
Often what makes us feel resentment about the past is the fact that we denied ourselves, disrespected, doubted ourselves because someone said something. This is when you give your power away.
I noticed that very often even though we believe our resentment is about the other person; it is more about regret that we didn't do what we wanted, pushed back our feelings or let the situation happen. Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes; this is your time to move on.
Learn why you hold on to the past 7 secrets Of Letting Go
We often hold on to resentment because we keep letting others violate our boundaries.
It is easier to deal with hard feelings when your personal space is safe and protected. Get clarity on what attitude you allow and what is not acceptable to you anymore. Say to yourself: "I love and respect myself enough not to tolerate disrespect" Repeat this phrase with things you wrote down in your "Boundaries" list.
Resentment is like a snowball. It keeps growing and growing, and the very small thing that happens seems like a huge deal.
To prevent this from happening it is essential to energetically clear emotional situations from the past and mentally let these memories go. It feels that the more intense emotion we experienced, the tighter the robe that ties us to the moment. When we clear it, we immediately feel lighter.
To clear resentment stuck in the past: Taking Back Energy From The Past Free Guided Meditation
Every time you criticize yourself or regret, you energetically strengthen the past situation you're thinking about. Every time you feel bad about smth you didn't do or did, put a hand on your heart and say: "I forgive myself for..." and "I love myself for..."
Fantastic author Gay Hendricks says that repeating "I love myself for.." regarding things you hate about yourself or regret helps to forgive yourself and not repeat the same patterns.
We tend to pay attention to what we lost. But we attract what we focus on. It's helpful to think what you learned and how you can improve your life with this understanding to let go of resentment.
To connect with your inner wisdom for a better understanding of the meaning behind situations: Guided Meditation Gift Of Sensitivity
I genuinely hope this was helpful!
Love and Light
Learn more about deeper reasons of resentment 4 Secrets Of Karmic Relationships
P.S. I remember times when I felt exhausted and empty inside caring about everyone around, but myself. I didn't feel good enough, I felt like nothing I did matter.
Many of these, as well as the level of appreciation, respect, and support comes to Self-Worth.
Knowing my worth helped me to transform my life, from being a shy girl to a woman who runs a successful business, doing what I always dreamed to, and helping thousands of people on the way. My dad never was helpful or showed his appreciation, while my mom just tolerated it all, it was painful for me, and I struggled to trust or respect men.
When I heard about women who are highly respected, appreciated and deeply loved in their relationships, I didn’t believe it was possible. Until I raised my value. I met so many men who are highly respectful of women’s nature but struggle because women don’t appreciate themselves.
It's unbelievable what a woman who knows her worth can do. Anything. When You know your Worth, You connect with your power. You ask for what you want and get it. Because you deserve it.
The Universe mirror your level of self-worth with opportunities, people you meet and the way others treat you. Often Life pushes us to step into our power through negative experiences or aggressive people. Have you been there? I did. Until I realized: Why wait for that?! There are tools, tips, and tricks you can use today to understand your worth, connect with yourself, balance your life.
We have it in S.P.I.R.I.T. formula program: A 6-week signature online course that already helped thousands of women to understand their worth and balance their career and relationships. These principles are what I used and still do to transform my life, everything in the program is personal to me. It's synthase of experience, years of learning and practicing coaching, psychology, and meditation.
This program is a light of my heart I hope to share it with you and as many women as possible because even if you don’t know it yet, I do know: You deserve it.
Learn more about S.P.I.R.I.T. formula here.