Do you have it sometimes? Or maybe you meet a lot of women, especially in leading positions, who shoot fire from their eyes just because. They are exhausted, empty inside trying to play aggressive "do like a man" kind of role.
It happens because many women nowadays live on male energies. Natural female energy is no less powerful and strong, but we forgot how to use it and don't really understand what it is.
When we're very tired, when we feel aggressive or unhappy, anxious and worried it usually comes from the inside. There are some ideas in our mind that make us go through the same anxious thoughts over and over again and it drives us crazy. Usually, the reason is assumptions we pick up from family and society without even realizing how they affect our happiness.
There are many blocks and assumptions that make us criticize ourselves, and put ourselves very low. Often we believe we are not good enough, not beautiful enough, not strong enough or not loving enough.
Women tend to see our flaws and find our fault in everything! When you boss is mad about something and you think something might be wrong with you or someone close to you is upset and you are trying not just support but give away everything you have just to make this person feel better. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it? If you ask How to stop exhausting yourself this way? Love to yourself is a key.
It doesn’t mean being egoistic. It means to store energy so you can give a lot to others and feel good at the same time.
3 easy steps you can do to start practicing self-love right now.
1. Love to your body
It sounds obvious, I know, but very hard to do.
The concern I often hear people tell me about: "But Kate my body is so far from perfect..." I should tell you all this crazy perfection the society forces us to believe in, is an ego-oriented crap.
Beauty is how you feel about yourself. The problem here is the world makes girls who don’t meet the standards believe they are not worth.
We find girls who meet standards of beauty good-looking because world made them believe it about themselves, so their beauty comes from the inside and any girl can train it.
Look at the history, every century had completely different standards of beauty, why? Because beauty is like happiness, It is how you feel about yourself. So this is my goal to show you how attractive and charming you can be.
Let me illustrate how DIFFERENT beauty was (it's still is! Because it is HOW YOU FEEL about yourself )
Your body is unique, thousands of processes happen inside of you at the same time, filling your body with energy and life. Can you imagine that every body part, every body-cell, the smallest details in your body perform their own exclusive function. And they are all connected. One can’t function without the other.
Imagine if you lungs today will be too disappointed with other body parts and decide not to do their job. They will be just like: "Hey guys! I don’t work today… somehow manage without me". "Really?" - the heart will probably panic and blood circulation will soon stop.
The same we are as humans are part of big Universe where everyone is important. Your unique body was given to you so you can play your special role in the system we call the world. And special doesn’t always mean something you haven’t seen before, it means something about YOU and what it feels right for you to do.
Here is the very simple and effective exercise to start loving your body:
Researchers proved that when you concentrate your attention on a particular body part blood flows to it, increasing amount of oxygen in cells. This process improves their condition and heals.
Concentrate on the inner state of your body, on your body parts several minutes every day and it will improve the state of all body, your well being, that is directly connected with your self-perception and your self-confidence.
Let’s do it right now together. Take a deep breath, Breathe through your heart, exhale all your worries and concentrate on your heart. Imagine what a great work it does every day, feel your heart beating, your body is an extremely complicated system and every day your heart plays it ’s part very effectively. Put a hand on your heart and imagine how you fill it with gratitude and love. Now open your eyes. How do you feel? I hope more calm and relaxed, if so great!
If you want to try guided audio meditation that will help you to love your beautiful body more find it here.
2. Give yourself Love, understanding, and tenderness you look for in other people.
How to do that? Here is a list of easy steps:
Give yourself GIFTS
Do you remember that beautiful blouse you loved, but didn’t buy? I know there is never a right moment and it probably not such an important of a thing, but what is important is your conscious decision to give yourself some love and attention as you would expect from a loving man.
If you have a busy schedule or more free lifestyle I totally respect that. Enjoying yourself is not about time it’s about attention. Having a nice salad during lunch? Pay attention. Driving on a nice road, listening to a beautiful song, noticing first streams of light on the way from the bed to the bathroom, pay attention. When you really take in small things with gratitude you form a HABIT of noticing how much world gives YOU and when you are gifted by the world, you definitely feel better about your own self. More ideas to feel more joy:
Do what you love to do even ten minutes a day, step by step finding more time for that
Spend time in Nature
Devote time to your body consciously. For example, when you take a bath or put cream on your hands or body, say to yourself how much you love and appreciate your body and like taking care of it.
Beautiful book of affirmations for every day of a week to keep a state of joy (100% free)
3. Connect with your Inner Girl.
Our creative part or so-called an inner child is responsible for joy we experience doing a different kind of actions.
Researchers proved that pleasure from the process increases brain activity, which means efficiency and productivity growth. So when our actions are more effective, the quality of life grows.
Great recommendations on developing creative part Julia Cameron wrote in her book “The Artist's Way”
I will bring here some ideas, that played a very important role in my own life.
1. MORNING PAGES
All of us have inner critic inside… crazy insane voice, that doesn't stop telling you are not good enough. Brene Brown calls it gremlin. Gremlins talk about shame, guilt, why is everything your fault and how you fail all the time.
I think the main purpose of morning pages to find how you really want to feel and how you don’t. Some of that is the matter of experience, but if we can skip some hard lessons in life by writing and reflecting, why not to do that?
Writing opens doors to our subconsciousness where many of our talents and amazing gifts are.
It’s a very simple practice of writing 3 pages every morning. Write everything in your mind, pain, and happiness, gratitude, what you're angry or upset about. Imagine you slide from a big mountain of worries to a land which is free from criticism and worries. It’s not going to happen overnight, but if you try for a while you will find yourself calmer and more connected.
One more thing about writing: it enables development of neural connections between the right and left brains. These conjunctions were proved to be a skill of genius.
If you need some inspiration to start, Try this free Printable Diary of JOY for your morning pages :)
The second powerful thing Julia advises is
2. Creative dates with yourself. Yes, you heard it right, with YOURSELF!
How cool is that, right? Ask your inner child what she wants to do on this date.
What this precious, vulnerable, talented gifted part of you wants to do without judgment or “ADULT” thing?
Roll downhill, swing, go to the museum? Whatever your inner child wants! Anything at all. Just once a week or a month let yourself be free. When you do that, you will start to slowly open wonderful things inside of you, the whole new world. To do that go and communicate with you. Try to get to know yourself better.
When you connect with your inner child you will vibrate at a higher frequency, translating more joy and the particular energy you need to attract better opportunities and positive people.
Hope this was helpful!