- I run around like crazy, doing so many things, but what is the meaning of it all...? - Laura jumped straight in when she saw me
- Do you think if you do more, take on another challenge you will finally find meaning? - I asked
- Yes, this is exactly how I feel! But it only makes things worse... I am exhausted, emotionally drained. All things I do don't make me feel the way I expect. And I constantly feel I have to do more and more and more.
- Why do you think you have to do more and more...? - my question hang in the air for a while
- Because nothing I do feels enough.... - Laura finally replied with tears in her eyes, - whatever I do or achieve doesn't matter... I got lucky, met right people, was in the right place at the right time. I feel it has nothing to do with me; I don't feel I am enough.
- I get it, - I said, - so many women feel the same way... I used to ask myself why over and over again. And then it hit me, what if we're looking for "enough" in a completely wrong place?
- What do you mean...? - Laura looked confused
- Imagine you really love eating veggies, they make you feel good and fresh... but then you end up eating only meat and wondering why you can never feel the same lightness as when you tired your first tomato many years ago...
- Haha, - she smiled, - makes sense.
- Everything you need is already there; we just have to figure out how to rearrange pieces of your puzzle.
So how can we feel more enough? One word: perspective.
Here are three questions I suggest you ask yourself to change it:
Often the world makes us believe that our life is as good as the number of things we do. But female, sensitive souls aren't wired this way. No matter how much we push ourselves, we can't find fulfillment in a wrong place.
Achievements are very important; it’s the essential part of life. I am a very ambitious person, and my dreams are so important to me, but I almost lost them, when I believed doing is the only part of my life. I felt empty and lost because I didn't allow myself to do what is essential for my wellbeing. Walk, breathe, sit in silence.
For sensitive Souls, the way to fulfillment is being, not doing. Achieving, working hard is amazing. It doesn't make you lose the joy, happiness, freedom. Suppressing another important part of you does. When we suppress our need for joy, freedom, play, creativity as we're "too busy for that", we lose connection with ourselves.
What do I mean by being: walking, breathing, observing, enjoying, feeling the present moment, laughing, connecting.
Download Printable Diary of Joy to learn to enjoy more
Society programs women to be perfect. Perfect hair, perfect face, perfect family. How can we feel enough when we set unrealistic expectations before we even begin?
Think about it next time you feel nothing you do matters. Are you thriving for perfection that doesn't exist?
How often do you experience the heavy feeling in your stomach (more like a punch) when you know you want to say no, but all you can hear yourself saying is yes, yes and yes?
Do you feel like you have to always be there for others?
I am not suggesting you do only what you want. Responsibilities are a part of life. But do you really need to exhaust yourself? Is being liked by everyone worth feeling empty and lost?
What many men are great at is detaching, they just switch off. For women it's much harder, we always worry, always look for more ways to be helpful. Why? We feel like we have to. Many women subconsciously believe: a woman's purpose is to serve others.
Changing this belief can be a big step forward.
A woman is a creator of life. She holds life, connects heaven and earth. Our main purpose is to be fulfilled. As only then we can be truly helpful. Everything starts with you. A woman creates Universes. As much as we want to put the responsibility on others sometimes, the energy of creation is female. It is natural for us.
And it is our time to remember that, as it was forgotten for centuries. A woman is born to create.
Our natural urge for love and care is a call to create more love and connection. Our ability to be compassionate, emotional, raw is the call to create more truth. Our excitement is a call to create more happiness.
Change service to the creation and you can switch from "have to" to "want to". When you serve others you create more love. But you can't do it if you act from obligation or guilt. It comes to colleagues, children, friends, men.
Love is your job. Love to yourself is the main service you can give to the world.
Clear negative emotions and embrace your sensitivity to feel more love: Free Guided meditation Gift of Sensitivity
Healing Affirmations to love yourself more: The Book of Affirmations (it's free)
Truly hope it was helpful!
Lots of love,